Almost five months ago, my mind has been idle from love commitments
Back then, I was confused for weeks of what I really want and needed this past few years
Been running away from romantic affairs and avoiding emotional attachments from anyone
Stereotyping any man who tries to come close to me
On the other hand there you were trying to mend your broken heart in a far away land
Drowning yourself to liquors, feeling numb while singing that song of Fra Lippo Lippi
Trying to enjoy yourself despite the pain love brought you for months since then
Exactly the pain I went through for years, overcome, avoiding and scared of
It was just another boring, ordinary day almost five months ago
Living our lives the way we cope it
Until my idle mind pressed call and your drunk broken heart started talking
Funny how we first know each other, eh?
Weird was I in giving out my number like I trust you instantly
Even so spontaneous of you to ask me that shit on your booty call (lol)
To think both moves were stupid it hell gives me a laugh
Every time I would remember (& kilig every time it would be you who remembers)
Maybe at that very moment, we got each other's attention
I have to be honest, you already have me when you really called that night
Just the way you told me you would when we first talked
Because you told me, I had you when I first embarrass you to your friend
The indifference and newness came to our veins where infatuation began to reign
We kept our own ulterior motives before,
Where you're angry at me and I, enjoying your tempting attention
You pursued me everyday till I surrender to your chase
Remember the tricks you taught me and the first time I learned it
That it eventually become our little sweet private moments done everywhere
Dont forget the songs you said we'll sing, our secret-love talks, stupid wars, and romantic wishes
Want you to forget it not but to remember it with a smile or even laugh
Many has happened since then, right?
Things only us do and know; feelings only us hold, I hope
These I wish would last forever
Never give up no matter what on each other
Up to date we are still on the line
Sometimes we are happy, sometimes we are sad
You make me excited, worry, angry and jealous at times
Mixed & confusing but those are the times I feel so alive because of you
I have been denying that I didnt know I would enjoy all these
The emotions you burn on me, these are the things I missed long in life
It is only you who could make me feel all of these with just being yourself
Up till I learned to adapt in this new world, getting used to feelings
Frankly, there are times I wanna run away from you
Especially when I dont understand your thoughts and you keep hiding it on me
There are also times I feel youre pushing me away and taking me for granted
These are the times I have to keep calm and outsmart my self from being impatient
Sometimes love quotes are beginning to make sense to me
As if it was some omen meant to make me think again about you
Whether you are true or not; sincerely loyal or a faithful jerk;
Or some game that has been seriously wasting my time long enough
That it is so hard to rehearse all day the things I wanna say to end us
It is even difficult when we talk because I always find myself embracing you back
Choosing my heart over my brain, forgetting those painful words from my hurt feelings
Because one kiss from you makes it okay
Days and weeks and months have passed
More than I intended to stay just to fulfill my words "I'll fix your broken heart"
Much than fixing your heart, later did I know that you, you made me care again
The care I have been trying to hide for years from people, I gave it to you
When I first know you, I didnt expect you would be this important to me
Not even planning to make it last or longer, intending to leave you sooner
But we get to tolerate each others' over acting drama, topak, and issues
Learning that pareha tayo mag-isip, making and expecting days complete
However, soon I cant hear your voice anymore before I sleep
I will surely miss that at some nights when you'll b gone
Though I have not touched you the way I have always wanted to
I will remember how we comfort each other after a long day
Your coming is a lesson and blessing to me I would be thankful for
While your leaving is a mind setting I would always appreciate
I hope in my own little way, I have made you feel loved the way you deserve to be
Because that was what I have always asked your Jesus for you
I wont regret knowing you nor bitter to be left by you
I know in my heart that this is the chance for you and eventually for me
For you to re-arrange your life, to be rich as you have always desired
And for me to be ready for life
In your new world, I may not be your girl anymore
You may find someone -- who wont leave you no matter what,
Who knows yet accepts your past and cares for you...
That's how much I love you; if she does all these, keep her
She loves you as much as I really do and care for you (T_T)
But if you come and thought of me even after everything
Make it fast and find me, I will still want you
I am just somewhere near thinking of you
Maybe one day, in this lifetime, we will meet when all is well and ready
Can we work on this and really make it happen?
To finally really hug you & call your name in my sweetest tone you always adore (T_T)
Then perhaps, as you wish, maybe we could have some part two that wouldn't end
We wont promise anything right now
But remember what my favorite GG character said,
"If two people are meant to be together
Eventually, they'll find their way back"
I will pray for your success; just as I have always prayed for someone like you
Of all the things you said that I didnt mind that it didnt happen
This time, I will believe that you will make it good and build better dreams
Be rich as f*ck, go home, have that business with your feet still on the ground
I know you are strong & you will make everything right this time!
Never let anyone control and make you feel lonely, baby boy
Make me happy and proud because my support for you will never falter
Wherever you are, think that Im with you; just as you echos me"hindi ka mawawala sa isip at puso ko"
Distance may hinder us now but our choices in the future will help us meet
Through the coming years you'll have a space in me where you can go home
You will still be my baby, my pasaway, my berta, my BSBA,
my babaero, my pala disco, my darling, my love, palangga and babe
And if you should had read this, smile, you're on the last part, you know who you are
I know these words are not enough to make you feel the way you made me
But know that these are honesty from my heart, I love you too, babe!
Wishing you and I would always want and never forget each other, FOREVER
PS: August 21, 2012, 1:00am.
-- C
